Headlines and Deadlines

March 10, 2009

Bill Gates vs. General Motors: The $25 car.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, ‘If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.’

In response to Gates’ comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash… Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3.  Occasionally your car would stop in the fast lane of the motorway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, turn off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. But this would be acceptable behaviour.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5.  Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only 50 percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single ‘This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation’ warning light.

7.  The airbag system would ask ‘Are you sure?’ before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9.  Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.  You’d have to press the ‘Start’ button to turn the engine off.

March 9, 2009

Mugabe Didn’t Kill Susan Tsvangirai – Allegedly

So, the death in a car accident of Morgan Tsvangirai’s wife Susan was an accident after all.

Apparently.

Susan Tsvangirai, wife of the Zimbabwean Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai, was killed when the car they were in together was hit by a lorry carrying Western aid, and rolled three times, landing on its roof.

President Robert Mugabe isn’t guilty of this particular crime… but he must be thanking his lucky stars that the wife of his arch-rival is dead.

Tsvangirai is, after all, Zimbabwe’s only hope of eventual stability and peace – once Mugabe has popped his clogs.

Oops – in Zimbabwe I could be hanged for that.

Source: BBC website

December 30, 2008

Headlines and Deadlines

So here we go, Day 1, blog 1. A blank sheet.

How I live my life…

How I work, what I do… goes here. Not what’s been on the tele.

Links, photos and videos – the most important emerging technology on the web.

Time to call the Foley Artist.

Blog at WordPress.com.