Oinksip Max Strength: Fighting Swine Flu

US Department of Homeland Security to destroy people with swine flu symptoms

 

Apparently, the US Department of Homeland Security is to destroy people with swine 'flu symptoms

 This is a screen-grab from the US Department of Homeland Security’s website.

Read the last paragraph.

Let’s not, repeat not, move to the United States of America!

Source: The official DHS website

Ahoy there! Are those naughty Somalians real Pirates?

I see that another US ship has been attacked off the coast of Somalia.

The Liberty Sun, whilst delivering food aid to the country, was attacked by rocket-propelled grenades.

But doesn’t the word ‘pirate‘ summon up Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley and Geoffrey Rush? It does to me.

These Somalians aren’t pirates at all – they’re hijackers.

Jacqui Smith (the Home Secretary) Buys Porn Movie on Government Expenses

The Home Secretary is facing an uncertain future this morning after it emerged that her House of Commons expense account was used to purchase pornography.

It turns out that it was her husband, Richard Timney, who bought the films and Jacqui Smith put them through expenses ‘mistakenly’.

In fact, they were part of a TV bundle that routinely goes through Smith’s expenses. It also included viewings of Ocean’s 13 and Surf’s Up. Even though MPs can only claim expenses on items and services used ‘wholly, exclusively and necessarily’ for the purposes of work.

 

Richard Timney and Jacqui Smith (image: Mail Online)

Conservative leader David Cameron says that it alone is not a resignation issue, but it’s not the first time that the Home Secretary has hit the controversy headlines.

- Smith is being investigated by the Commissioner for Parliamentary Standards after it emerged that she claims £116,000 in second home allowances for the family seat in Redditch, while ‘renting’ a room from her sister in London, which apparently makes that her main home.

- It was Smith who published those ‘dodgy’ knife crime figures.

- In December 2008 she ignored scientific advice from her most senior advisor, Professor David Nutt, to downgrade ecstasy from a class A to a class B drug, and was accused of making a political decision (rather than the right one), then went on to bully Nutt into apologising for his comments – comments that followed scientific evaluation.

- On the day that she was appointed head of a new government review of UK Drugs Strategy, it emerged that she had smoked cannabis a number of times at Oxford. She reversed the reclassification cannabis as class C, returning it to class B this year.

- In December, it emerged that her husband (Richard Timney again) was the author behind a series of letters to a newspaper praising Smith, although he failed to reveal his identity in any of them.

- Smith said she wasn’t and should not have been told about the impending arrest of Conservative MP Damian Green (November 2008), who had publicised documents that were embarrassing to her department. Her position was attacked on both sides of the House and she was accused of ‘wilful ignorance’.

- It was Smith who introduced the 42-days-without-charge terror laws, told Londoners that she didn’t feel safe on the capital’s streets, authorised police to restrict journalistic photography and told us that the ‘majority’ of Britons are in favour of ID cards, when in fact all evidence shows overwhelming opposition.

- Last but not least, Smith pays her husband £40,000 a year in taxpayers’ money to be a Parliamentary aide. And to raise the kids.

How many times do you have to cheat in an exam, lie to the teachers or spit in canteen food to get detention?

It’s time the Home Secretary was sent Home.

Daily Telegraph: “Gordon Brown is a Cunt” – website blooper

Someone at the Telegraph will almost certainly lose their job over this…

Soon after it appeared, the URL had been changed to something more appropriate (see URL – the body of the webpage isn’t quite as interesting!)

 

Who at the Daily Telegraph uploaded this page to telegraph.co.uk?

Mugabe Didn’t Kill Susan Tsvangirai – Allegedly

So, the death in a car accident of Morgan Tsvangirai’s wife Susan was an accident after all.

Apparently.

Susan Tsvangirai, wife of the Zimbabwean Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai, was killed when the car they were in together was hit by a lorry carrying Western aid, and rolled three times, landing on its roof.

President Robert Mugabe isn’t guilty of this particular crime… but he must be thanking his lucky stars that the wife of his arch-rival is dead.

Tsvangirai is, after all, Zimbabwe’s only hope of eventual stability and peace – once Mugabe has popped his clogs.

Oops – in Zimbabwe I could be hanged for that.

Source: BBC website

Can Black People be Racist? (or the Bristol Councillor who called her colleague a Coconut)

We heard last week that Bristol City Councillor of Afro-Caribbean origin has apologised after calling an Indian colleague a ‘coconut’.

Liberal Democrat Councillor Shirley Brown (nee Marshall), who is councillor for the Ashley ward in Bristol (comprising St Pauls, St Werburghs and Montpelier), used the racist term to criticise her Conservative colleague Jay Jethwa, who arrived in Britain in the mid-1980s, and is now councillor for Stockwood.

Before using the term ‘coconut’, Brown even explained that it refers to people of Asian origin who are ‘brown on the outside and white inside’, which amounts to criticising people who try to turn their backs on their own culture and adopt the outlook and trappings of the majority white community in Britain.

Councillor Jay Jethwa said, “I have never come across such a personal and upsetting racial comment directed at me. All I was doing was exercising my democratic right to speak and express my opinions, so to have those kind of words directed at me was a real shock and very upsetting. It’s a huge insult to me.

“I knew exactly what it meant as soon as I heard it. It means someone who is black on the outside and white on the inside and definitely racially related.

“For this to have come from a black person, who uses this term specifically for people who come from my background, is just unacceptable and uncalled for.”

Brown said during the heated debate, “In our culture we have a word for you and before I go into what I want to say and my statement, is that we have a word for you and, which any in this city would understand, is a coconut.”

Other councillors, members of the media and the general public were, obviously, outraged by the comments. At least one complaint was made to the police and Brown may face criminal charges. The council’s Standards Committee is also investigating and will discuss the matter behind closed doors on 9th April.

Conservative councillor John Goulandris said, “Everyone should be offended by Shirley Brown’s use of this profoundly unpleasant racist remark. Ironically, this ugly utterance has come from someone who proclaims herself something of an expert at recognising racism in others.”

Brown has since made an apology to Jethwa, suggesting that she had not intended to be insulting, but added – and here’s the incredible bit: “How can I be a racist when I’m black?”

What could she have meant by that?

Perhaps we should all remind her that being black doesn’t automatically indemnify someone to make racist remarks about others.

In true local authority style, it is possible to contact Shirley Brown to let her know what you think on the subject: Contact details for Bristol’s Racist Councillor.

Shirley Brown has also been in hot water recently for only attending the minimum number of council meetings required to receive full pay for the role – she spends the majority of her time at home in the United States.

Sources:

The original story is here at the BBC Bristol and The Sun websites.

The update about police action is here at thisisbristol.co.uk.

Thanks to the Bristol Blogger for this – brilliant!

Guinness Book of Records Slammed Shut on Boy Bullfighter’s Calf-Killing ‘Feat’

I received this press release a few days ago. “Thank God for that” sprung to mind straight away…

London – If you aspire to be counted amongst the elite listed by Guinness World Records Ltd, don’t even think about it if your feat involves harming animals. Just ask 11-year-old Michel Lagravere Peniche, who was hoping to be recognised by Guinness after he stabbed six calves to death in a Mexican bull ring. In a special statement posted on its Web site, Guinness made its policy on animal abuse abundantly clear: “Guinness World Records was not aware that this event was taking place, and will not recognise the result. We do not accept records based on the killing or harming of animals”. PETA Europe, has sent a letter of appreciation to Guinness editor in chief Craig Glenday.

Reportedly encouraged by his parents, the boy bullfighter has killed more than 160 1- to 2-year-old calves. These animals are practically babies and are not naturally aggressive. Video footage shows the boy as he drives lances into a calf’s back and neck muscles, twisting the lances to ensure significant blood loss. After the calf is completely exhausted, the boy stabs him with a sword. In bullfights, if the matador misses and succeeds only in further mutilating the animal, the bull is stabbed in the spine. Sometimes the executioner misses, leaving the bull conscious but paralysed as his ears are cut off and he is dragged from the arena chained by the horns.

PETA points out that in an era when violence is on the rise, it is vital that children should be taught to be kind to others – not rewarded for causing animal suffering in the name of entertainment or “tradition”.

“Making a hero out of a boy who routinely torments and kills gentle calves sends a dangerous message to children everywhere”, says PETA Europe Director, Robbie LeBlanc. “We hope other organisations follow Guinness World Records’ example and enact policies condemning cruelty to animals.”

PETA’s letter to Guinness World Records Ltd is available upon request. For more information, please visit PETA.org.uk.

13 Year Old Father (Alfie Patten) May Not Be Dad After All

Despite his short stature — he’s barely four feet tall — and his child’s voice, 13-year-old Alfie Patten bravely stood up to fatherhood when his 15-year-old girlfriend Chantelle gave birth to their daughter, Maisie. “When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react,” Alfie told The Sun last week.

But Alfie may not be the father after all.

On Sunday, 16-year-old Richard Goodsell came forward to say that he thought there was a very good chance Maisie was his. “I know I could be the father. Everyone thinks I am. My friends all tell me that baby has my eyes — even my mum thinks so,” he told News of the World.

He’s not the only one. Since Alfie and Chantelle shared their story in The Sun, yet another teen, Tyler Barker, 14, has come forward to say Maisie could be his. Several other boys have said they, too, have had sex with Chantelle.

A DNA test will be done “as soon as possible” to determine paternity, said a spokesman for Alfie’s parents. “It would be prudent to have a DNA test.”

Alfie isn’t taking the news well. “Other stupid boys are lying, saying bad things, like they have slept with Chantelle too. But I am the only boyfriend she has had and we’ve been together for two years, so I must be the dad. When she found out she was having a baby, I asked her ‘Am I the dad?’ and she went ‘Yeah’ so I believe her.”

Chantelle agrees that Alfie is her first and only boyfriend.

It’s the stuff of soap operas or at least a bad movie of the week — one tiny baby and eight dads, lined up to claim her or to breathe a sigh of relief that they’ve dodged this particular bullet. One thing’s certain: The story is lucrative.

It’s hard not to lift an accusing eyebrow at Alfie and Chantelle’s parents, but while they’re certainly responsible for these two particular teens, Alfie and Chantelle aren’t the first two kids to have a baby before they were ready. Just last fall, the country couldn’t stop arguing about whether Sarah Palin’s teenage daughter Bristol was a clear sign of Sarah’s lax parenting or a national hero. And Juno so romanticized teen pregnancy and adoption that a teen girl behind me in the theater said, “I wish I could have a baby.” I almost choked on my popcorn.

About half of all teens have sex by the time they’re 19 years old. Fifty percent. One out of two. A teen who is actively having sex has less than a 10 percent chance of avoiding pregnancy over the course of a year if she doesn’t use contraception.

While I don’t think we should expect that our kids will be sexually active before they reach the age of majority, the statistics don’t lie and neither does that baby Alfie cradles so tenderly. We need to have an open and ongoing discussion with our kids about sex and responsibility, honest talk that gives them the tools and the knowledge to make smart choices for themselves as they ease themselves into adulthood.

Chimp Attack in the USA – Who’s to Blame?

That chimp attack in Connecticut? Startling, upsetting story, to say the least.

A 200-pound pet chimpanzee in Stamford, Connecticut has severely mauled a woman. From listening to the owner’s 911 call, it seems the chimp ‘ripped her face off’. Thinking her friend was dead, the owner stabbed the chimp and hit him with a spade, but failed to stop the attack. A policeman finally shot him dead.

The media was quick to report the chimp’s ‘celebrity’ status – he’d been in several TV adverts (Gap and Old Navy) , had been raised like a child, watched TV, used the Internet, bathed himself and even used crockery.

There really is no need to sensationalise this story – it’s not pleasant at all.

But who’s to blame for the death? Depsite its human-like attributes, this was a wild animal, led around with a metal chain for a lead.

Many are calling for the owner to be prosecuted. That would happen if we were talking about a child, wouldn’t it?