Headlines and Deadlines

October 16, 2009

Teaching Maths in British schools – progress

1. Teaching maths in 1970

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths in 1980

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths in 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths in 2005

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.

Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths in 2009

A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal.

His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agenci es. He protest s and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting.

The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many ! times is the logger going to have to be
arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths in 2010

A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. T! hey undercut everyone on price for haul age and send th eir cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus’s are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances. You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths in 2017

أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة
الانت=D 8ج
منالثمن

October 15, 2009

First Stephen Gately, now ‘H from Steps’…

When will it end!?

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September 7, 2009

Robbie Williams: Reality Killed the Video Star

Many of us in the UK have now heard Robbie Williams‘ new single, Bodies, from the forthcoming album Reality Killed the Video Star.

If you haven’t heard it, then here’s a clip, prior to the full version being released on Wednesday 09.09.09 (and it’s already been viewed by almost 400,000 people in 4 days):

The singer/songwriter joined forces with the producer Trevor Horn (Paul McCartney, Seal, Pet Shop Boys, Cher) to record and mix Reality Killed the Video Star in London this summer.

Robbie Williams seems to have made it his mission to beat records for album and ticket sales. He’s in the Guinness Book of Records for selling 1.6 million tickets in a single day for his 2006 tour, which played to 3.7 million people all in all.

In 2003, he beat the record for the biggest live music event in UK history, playing to 365,000 people in 3 nights at Knebworth.

With more Brit Awards than anyone else and 3 Ivor Novello awards, Robbie Williams also holds the UK record for the fastest-selling Greatest Hits album in history – that album reached number 1 in 18 countries.

So, will Reality Killed the Video Star reach number 1 on first attempt?

September 6, 2009

When TV goes viral: Stacey Solomon and Danyl Johnson on X-Factor

YouTube is a great place to pick out the unmissable little gems from programmes that you wouldn’t necessarily want to watch on TV. A good example is X-Factor – the YouTube channel shows the highlights from the best singers, without having to sit through the whole thing, with its adverts, foot-dragging, tension-mounting and Ant or Dec hug-giving.

In just 2 short weeks, Stacey Solomon from Dagenham has accrued more that 3-million views on YouTube, singing  Louis Armstrong’s What A Wonderful World.

Fair do’s to her – it’s good!

In the same time, Danyl Johnson’s rendition of With A Little Help From My Friends has garnered him more than 4-million views on YouTube. Mind you, 6 of those were me.

But these impressive figures are still dwarfed by ITV’s wrap of Susan Boyle’s April 2009 audition (I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables), which has had, to date, more tha 74-million views.

It shows the first time Susan walked out onto the stage:

September 3, 2009

Emirates aren’t the only carrier to trash luggage and not care

Our own story starts in Dubai – the overnight stop between our Mauritius honeymoon and London Heathrow.

Both pieces of our luggage were destroyed by Emirates, including an ‘indestructible’ Samsonite case, which was broken so badly that many of the items within were also broken or had fallen out. We were offered replacements (each worth a fraction of the replacement value), but had to fight to keep our damaged luggage.

On leaving Dubai with all four cases, the ground staff were mostly polite, except, sadly, the supervisor, who refused to be of any help, insisting that we should pay around £300 for going overweight (the weight only of the new cases, of course). We had to leave one of the cases behind.

Speaking to baggage crews at Heathrow, it seems that Dubai is well known for wrecking luggage and is not subject to the same camera surveillance of most international airports.

Three months later and there is still no sign of our bags, compensation or even any correspondence from Emirates, despite continued attempts to contact the airline. And we’re still around £800 out of pocket.

Emirates Damaged my Samsonite case

But, we’re not alone!

Here’s a song, posted on YouTube about a similar incident involving United Airlines and a guitar worth $3,500. This video became an overnight hit and United’s share price fell by 15% almost instantly.

August 11, 2009

Great Viral Ads no. 21: Project Natal (new Microsoft Xbox 360)

Project Natal really is the future of gaming. Think Wii, without the controller.

And there’s more – the platform is even richer than gaming and entertainment. Developers Lionhead Studios claim that personal relationships can be formed through the Xbox 360. Here’s a demonstration of the character ‘Milo’ interacting with the real world.

August 1, 2009

The injured horse, the vet and Bristol police

I read with horror this morning about the plight of a horse in Bitton, near Bristol, who was forced to suffer and die slowly because police insisted that only a vet could put it down.

A girl was riding the animal in Golden Valley Lane when the pair were hit by a car.

The rider was thrown clear, but the horse suffered horrific injuries after hitting and rolling over the car.

Police arrived on the scene, along with a local licensed firearms owner, within a few minutes.

With at least one badly broken leg, suspected internal bleeding and going into shock, those on the scene had to hold the horse on the floor, but police officers would not allow the gunsman to put the animal down.

They insisted that only a vet or slaughterman could do the job and almost an hour went by, when the horse finally died in agony.

Insensitive, inhumane and frankly pathetic.

There have been several incidents of speeding cars hitting horses in Bristol recently, leading to calls for lower speed limits and harsher penalties.

July 30, 2009

Swear word – David Cameron swears on live radio

David Cameron has apologised after swearing on a live breakfast radio show.

Oh David, just when it was all going so well.

The breakfast interview on Absolute Radio was designed to show the more light-hearted side of the Conservative leader and the UK’s next Prime Minister.

After some light-hearted banter, Cameron was asked if he used Twitter. He replied, “The trouble with Twitter, the instantness of it – too many twits might make a twat.”

There was loud laughter and applause from people in the studio and the presenter Christian O’Connell, said “Brilliantly put, that’s fantastic.”

Then, a little while later, when talking about the expenses scandal and next year’s General Election, Cameron said, “The public are rightly, I think, pissed off.”

Without pausing for breath, he added, “Sorry, I can’t say that in the morning – angry with politicians.”

A spokesman has since apologised, saying, “David Cameron does not condone the use of bad language. It was a genuine slip-up and he regrets any offence cause.”

David Cameron swears on Absolute Radio

David Cameron swore on Absolute Radio

U2 Claw Stage leaves Dublin – but locals protest

U2 have finished the Dublin Croke Park leg of their 360 tour, but have upset locals with noise and traffic congestion, especially when it came to demolishing the giant claw.

So, instead of writing to the council, 80 locals decided to protest, preventing some of the 100 equipment trucks from leaving.

Yes, there was a lot of hardware, including 56 tonnes of video equipment, and the dismantling job took 44 hours, with stage crews working through the night to get it done, so that the claw stage can move on to the Ullevi Stadium in Gothenburg, Sweden.

But then again, these people have chosen to live within spitting distance of the largest stadium in Ireland, with a capacity of 80,000. They can hardly moan about the noise and traffic.

A total of 240,000 people watched the gigs at Croke Park. The tour is costing $40m to stage.

360-claw

The U2 Claw Stage, used on the 360 Tour

The U2 Claw Stage in Barcelona

The U2 Claw Stage in Barcelona

June 11, 2009

Bristol City Council Refuse Strikes – Claim Compensation!

Bristol City Council’s sub-contractor for waste collection and street-cleansing, SITA, finally agreed a 3-year pay deal with its workers in the Unite union yesterday (Wednesday), that will enable them to end the industrial action of the last few weeks.

Waste and recycling will now be collected as normal and roads and pavements will be swept again.

But how did it get this far anyway?

Unite believes that SITA was using the recession as an excuse to effectively cut workers’ pay. The union calculated that SITA was making a healthy profit from the council, but not sharing.

Because the council services for which we pay so much each year were interrupted, we are within our rights to claim compensation.

Write, quoting your council tax account number and requesting a rebate to: 

Local Taxation Officer
Bristol City Council
PO Box 968
Amelia Court
Pipe Lane
Bristol
BS99 1ZG

or email: council.tax@bristol.gov.uk

The more of us that do it, the more likely they are to listen.

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