Headlines and Deadlines

October 21, 2009

Audi_fail BMW advertising

This one will go viral…

Audi BMW advertising fail

October 19, 2009

Bono – I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

U2MASTER

October 17, 2009

David Blaine Eats Snake – Animal Cruelty

Filed under: The Bristol Blog - the Web — Graham @ 10:11 pm
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I was horrified to see American ‘magician’ David Blaine eat a live snake on TV just a few minutes ago. I understand it was recorded some time ago.

Quite clearly, this stunt is not magic, but animal cruelty.

Where does the law in the US stand on this? If you work in this area or have more information then please add a comment below.

It’s surely at least an unspoken rule in TV and film these days that animals are not harmed? If Blaine has broken the law then he should be prosecuted, banned from keeping or working with animals and heavily fined, as you’d expect. If he hasn’t broken the law then what’s wrong with the law?

Very disappointed. TV off. Blaine fail. E4 fail.

October 16, 2009

Teaching Maths in British schools – progress

1. Teaching maths in 1970

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths in 1980

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths in 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths in 2005

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.

Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths in 2009

A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal.

His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agenci es. He protest s and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting.

The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many ! times is the logger going to have to be
arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths in 2010

A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. T! hey undercut everyone on price for haul age and send th eir cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus’s are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances. You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths in 2017

أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة
الانت=D 8ج
منالثمن

October 15, 2009

First Stephen Gately, now ‘H from Steps’…

When will it end!?

75758841

October 14, 2009

The Art of Robbery

Filed under: The Bristol Blog - the Web — Graham @ 10:07 pm
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A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre…

ATT11

After careful planning he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of petrol.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, “Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.”

ATT22

“I had no Monet…

ATT33

…to buy Degas…

ATT44

…to make the Van Gogh!”

October 8, 2009

Why Social Media is critical for the Conservatives

David Cameron’s speech this afternoon left us all in no doubt that the Conservatives are confident about a win at the next General Election.

So confident, that already I’ve heard him referred to as ‘the next Prime Minister’ in several blogs.

But the margins aren’t that different and we’ve seen bigger turnarounds before. Party chairman Eric Pickles himself told the conference just a few days ago that, “it’s not in the bag yet”, or words to that effect. He was right.

We were all confident of Hillary Clinton’s victory for months, but it turned in the favour of Barack Obama. Why? Well, he was speaking to voters in a different way. He was engaging them individually through social media, giving them the power to spread the word and allowing everyone to get involved on the issues that mattered to them (instead of just those who’d signed up for coffee mornings and leafletting).

The Conservatives need to address this now. More precisely, MPs and PPCs need to address this now. Candidates need to get on Twitter, Facebook (if not already) and make sure their presence on the web ties everything together.

This video, about social media websites for Conservatives, neatly explains it all…

October 7, 2009

Google Logo Celebrates Barcode

Today’s Google logo, in case someone somewhere hasn’t noticed, is a barcode. It’s to celebrate the 57th anniversary of the first patent on the barcode (source: Washington Post).

gandhi-october-2Google is frequently changing its logo around to reflect calendar events and holidays: most recently the birthdays of Gandhi and HG Wells. They usually bear some similarity to the original.

However, while today’s barcode is technically the same (for those of us with barcode readers or a checkout job in Waitrose), to most of us is just, well, a barcode.

What a fantastic position to be in – Google has been the most powerful brand in the world for several years; an amazing feat considering that the brand itself isn’t even consistent (the designer’s number one rule).

Predictably, the new logo is attracting a lot of chatter on Twitter, where even this article will appear shortly.

So, for the purposes of completeness, here is the Google logo as a new(er) type of barcode – the QR code. It allows camera-and-Internet-enabled mobile ‘phone owners to browse to an exact URL (or upload contact details) based on the content of a 2D shape, much like the 1952 version.

For comparison, to its right is the QR code for inward investment agency Into Somerset – a code that has been popping up around the London Underground, encouraging businesses to relocate to the Westcountry.

QR codes are essentially a free technology – the better generator in my opinion is this one.

Google QRInto Somerset QR code underground

September 8, 2009

Great Viral Ads no. 25: The iPhone + iStalk

Filed under: The Bristol Blog - the Web — Graham @ 6:25 am
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Here’s another great example of how YouTube’s being used to distribute parodies of classic adverts.

This spoof iPhone ad has had more than 500,000 views since its release on 21st August:

September 7, 2009

Robbie Williams: Reality Killed the Video Star

Many of us in the UK have now heard Robbie Williams‘ new single, Bodies, from the forthcoming album Reality Killed the Video Star.

If you haven’t heard it, then here’s a clip, prior to the full version being released on Wednesday 09.09.09 (and it’s already been viewed by almost 400,000 people in 4 days):

The singer/songwriter joined forces with the producer Trevor Horn (Paul McCartney, Seal, Pet Shop Boys, Cher) to record and mix Reality Killed the Video Star in London this summer.

Robbie Williams seems to have made it his mission to beat records for album and ticket sales. He’s in the Guinness Book of Records for selling 1.6 million tickets in a single day for his 2006 tour, which played to 3.7 million people all in all.

In 2003, he beat the record for the biggest live music event in UK history, playing to 365,000 people in 3 nights at Knebworth.

With more Brit Awards than anyone else and 3 Ivor Novello awards, Robbie Williams also holds the UK record for the fastest-selling Greatest Hits album in history – that album reached number 1 in 18 countries.

So, will Reality Killed the Video Star reach number 1 on first attempt?

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